Acceptance
by TamSibling
Summary: COMPLETE. Set during season 3 after the Exodus from New Caprica. Kacey, Lee:Kara and a bit AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This Lee/Kara fic prominently features little Kacey, because she's just about the cutest thing ever. It was also written for Kaynara who was craving some Lee/Kara/Kacey fic. Of course, I obliged.

The rating is probably PG-13 overall as there is some darker matter explored in the following chapters, but mostly it's a pretty tame PG.

Thanks to Kaynara for the beta – as always!

Title: Acceptance

Ship: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG – PG-13

Disclaimers: It's not mine. Sadly.

Spoilers: Takes place in mid-Season 3 and is AU. In my 'verse Dee and Apollo have been over for a while and Lee and Kara have done more than just make-out in supply closets.

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Acceptance, 1/4

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Lee pauses in the hallway outside the bunkroom. He would swear that his ears are playing tricks on him, but something about that doesn't ring true. He could hear just fine in the mess hall and that place is louder than a Viper take-off.

So the only explanation for the joyous laughter ringing in his head right now is that it's real.

And it belongs to Kara.

The idea of Kara laughing makes him uneasy and happy all at once. Happy because it's Kara and after the hell of New Caprica and everything else, she deserves to feel something besides despair. Selfishly, he feels uneasy because he wants to be the one to make her happy. His absence in the bunkroom as she laughs almost hurts him.

But then it doesn't quite matter where he is or why she's laughing, because he hears something else. The unmistakable giggle of a child, a small child and Lee's heart catches in his throat. The two sounds together – Kara's deep-throated laugh mixed with the little child's giggle – make him quicken his pace. He wants to see what this is all about. Wants to understand why the sound is causing his heart to thunder in his ears.

Rounding the corner, he peers his head around the edge of the open hatch to the pilot's bunkroom and is glad he's leaning against the wall. The sight before him is far too odd.

Kara Thrace sits across from him, cross-legged on her bunk, making funny faces at a little girl who is mirroring her posture. If Lee did not know any better, and thank the Gods he does, he would swear the little girl is Kara's. She has blond, fair hair like the older woman, and from this distance they seem identical in many ways.

As the shock subsides, Lee finds himself staring intently at the scene, his heart beat fading to a dull roar so he can make out what the two girls are playing at.

"I spy …" Kara draws the words out as if she's really thinking of something good. The little girl sits with her elbows on her knees, chin resting on her tiny fists, staring at Kara in rapt attention.

Eyes twinkling, Kara smiles – she actually smiles, Lee notices – and declares, "I spy something small."

Throwing her arms out, the girl bounces excitedly on the bed and squeals, "Me!"

And then Kara laughs again and the little girl joins her and Lee suddenly wishes he was in there with them, laughing and playing games. He suddenly wishes he could see this side of Kara more often because he hasn't seen her so at ease since the exodus.

"You guessed right again!" Kara reaches for the child and begins to mercilessly tickle her sides, causing more laughter to emanate through the empty bunkroom. Lee feels like an intruder, that his presence is wrong here and he should go, but before he can Racetrack sees him as she passes the hall and calls out, "Hey there, Apollo."

He grimaces as he gives her a small wave back and hears the playful sounds from the room before him quiet down. Knowing he's been given up, Lee takes a deep breath and steps over the bulkhead and into the room.

"Hi." It's lame. He smiles big, almost chuckling outright as the little girl scrambles across Kara's bed to sit firmly in her lap. The smile turns into something more as he watches the way Kara's arms protectively close around her and her lips dust over the mop of blonde curls.

"Hi, Lee." Kara's voice isn't warm, but it's not cold either and Lee is grateful.

"Kara." The little girl tugs on her chin so that the older woman's hazel eyes are now focused on her. "Who?" she asks, pointing to Lee and then shyly hiding her face back into Kara's shoulder as he smiles at her again.

"Kacey, this is Lee." Returning her eyes to his face, Kara says evenly, "Lee, this is Kacey."

Taking the opening offered to him, Lee moves around the table in the middle of the room and approaches Kara's bunk. Kacey watches him closely, one eye peeking out from her hiding spot against Kara's shoulder. Squatting at the opposite end of the bunk away from Kara and Kacey, Lee smiles again and wishes he knew how to act around children. It's not that he doesn't like them or hasn't entertained the notion of having any – he's just never had cause to interact with them either. Unless he counts Siobhan's daughter, Kya. And he doesn't want to – scaring the girl with a one-eyed doll was not on the top of his greatest moment's list.

"Hi, Kacey. It's nice to meet you."

Instead of answering him, Kacey again turns her round face up to Kara and whispers, "Nice?" It's a question and Lee has the distinct impression this is another game they play. Knowing Kara he suspects she's already taught the child exactly who to trust on board Galactica.

Pushing a few of Kacey's curls behind her ear, Kara smiles again, this one soft and indulgent and Lee wishes she was smiling at him instead. "Yes, baby. Lee is very nice. He's my friend."

Satisfied, Kacey pushes herself off Kara's lap and crawls along the bunk until she is face-to-face with Lee. Holding his blue-eyed gaze with her own, she nods and declares, "Kacey's friend. Play?"

Lee feels a ridiculous sense of relief that he has passed her test. As he rises to sit beside the little girl, he notices Kara tense. "Actually, Kace, we have to get you back to your mom."

"No." It's a whine, but not a very loud one and not half as grating as many of the others Lee can remember hearing in stores and theaters throughout his life. "Kacey stay. Play with Lee and Kara."

"Sorry, sweetie, but I promised your mom, back by dinner."

There is no other argument. Lee watches as Kacey sighs heavily, her little shoulders rising almost to her ears before settling again with the action. "Okay." Moving towards Lee, she places her hands on his shoulder so she can pull herself into a standing position. He moves to pick her up and off the bunk. It feels natural somehow, like she's silently asking him too anyway.

But before he can, Kara swoops in, her arms encircling Kacey's middle as she settles the girl on her hip. "Say goodbye to Lee," Kara instructs her, already heading for the door.

"Bye, Lee." Kacey's small hand waves over Kara's shoulder. He returns the wave with a smile and a soft "bye," as he watches them disappear.

The room is cold and quiet in the wake of their departure. Lee stares out the open door for a bit wondering what exactly just happened. When did Kara start babysitting? From what he knows of her past, this is a new development. In fact, Zak had confided to him once that Kara didn't want children, that she was pretty adamant about it actually. Lee had believed it at the time, having met Kara enough times to know she wasn't quite the mothering type.

But what he's just witnessed – it flew against almost every conception he has of his best friend. And Lee can't decide if the shift is exciting or disconcerting.

Sighing, Lee wishes Kara hadn't run out of there so that they could talk about it. He doubts he'll be able to corner her now. She's been awfully good at avoiding him in the past months. Regardless of the fact that his relationship with Dee officially ended three weeks ago and her relationship with Anders is a joke, Kara has been strong-arming him. Every time Lee thinks he might make it past her defenses, the carefully constructed ones he's noticed since she returned from New Caprica, she holds him back.

And much to his chagrin, she's far stronger than he is.

He's tried being angry with her, tried being disappointed, afraid, callous, and a million other things in between. Of course, being Kara, she almost always shuts him up with a really good kiss or some distracting bit of touching. At times Lee hates how much his body and heart betrays him where Kara is concerned. In his head he knows they have to talk through some of this – maybe not all of it, but some of it, and while Lee would do almost anything to spare Kara that kind of pain, he knows it's necessary.

So does she, which is why she's been fighting so hard to avoid it.

Leaning back against the wall of her bunk, Lee hears the crackle of paper beneath him and sits up quickly, worried he's crushing something important. Turning slightly, he reaches behind him, pulling the worn pages into his lap.

His breath catches in his throat.

There before him in the messy finger strokes of a child is New Caprica. Lee can tell by the tents in the foreground and the brown grass that surrounds them. To the right of the page is a high tower, perhaps a building and Lee sees that inside it is a little stick figure with bright yellow hair, standing next to another bigger stick figure with the same color hair.

Smoothing the paper in his lap, Lee scans it again. He can make out words now. Blue scribbles he dismissed before make sense as disjointed letters and he tries to puzzle out the child's penmanship.

As he realizes that the little figure is labeled with a wobbly "m" and "e," and the taller figure is labeled with the same type of misshapen "m," "o," "m," Lee doesn't know what to think.

Flipping through the other pictures, he sees more of the same. One is curious as it shows who he assumes is Kacey and Kara standing next to another woman, also labeled, "mom." There are nonsense drawings as well and Lee smiles slightly as he picks up one of a tulip – Kara's favorite.

The page is split down the middle, an exquisite red tulip drawn on the left side while on the right is Kacey's rendition of the flower. There are a few other drawings like that, obvious examples of Kara trying to teach the child how to draw. Pages of letters and numbers, one set written in Kara's somewhat decent handwriting, another set written in Kacey's unsure script.

Lee leafs through the other drawings left at the end of the bed and notices for the first time that Kara has hung some on the wall of her bunk. They are far from prying eyes, always covered by her curtain and Lee knows the placement isn't accidental. Kara doesn't want anyone to know how much this child obviously means to her.

Leaning forward to study a few more closely, Lee's eyes spy something shoved between the foot of the bed and the wall. Hoping he'll be able to salvage whatever it is, Lee sticks his hand in the tight space and clasps what feels like a folder. Tugging on it just hard enough, Lee frees it from its hiding place.

Moving off of Kara's bunk to get a better look at it, he can make out the faded K.T. initials in the bottom right hand corner of the folio. It's been through hell, that's obvious. What Lee thinks was once rich brown leather is now faded and worn, but still holding together. Smoothing his hand over it, his thumb rubs along the initials.

More than curious and guessing he will regret this, Lee pushes the elastic bands off the corners and opens the portfolio gingerly. More drawings greet him, but these were not done by Kacey's hand.

The lines are cleaner, stronger, bolder, the colors decidedly darker. The imagery noticeably more frightening. Lee isn't sure what most of it means; like the paintings he'd once seen in Delphi, Kara has a flare for modern art, most notably, abstract. These are no different.

Lee sits heavily at the table, pouring over image after image. Unlike Kacey's drawings of colored pencil, Kara has selected charcoal to work with. The black lines are smudged in some areas, and Lee knows touching one would dramatically alter the piece. He holds them gingerly afraid that if one should be disturbed some part of Kara might shatter.

Well, not some part – her soul. Lee knows he's holding Kara's soul in his hands as he tries to understand these dark images before him. Images she's drawn and not shared with anyone. Things she doesn't want to talk about. The imaginings of her nightmares, the ones she thinks she keeps hidden, but the ones Lee knows about, because he hears her every night as she wakes with a stifled cry and then listens as she whimpers until she falls back to sleep.

"Kara?"

Cheeks flushing bright red at the sound of an approaching voice, Lee hurriedly shoves the drawings back into the folio and dumps it at the end of Kara's bunk. By the time Anders enters the room he's at his locker, opening it and pretending to be looking for something.

"Huh." Lee turns to see Sam's face twisted in confusion.

"She left about five minutes ago," he offers, wondering why he feels the need to help his lover's husband.

If Sam is startled, he doesn't let it show. Crossing his arms over his chest, his face sets into a hard mask as he questions, "What exactly did you say to her?"

"Nothing." Lee is in no mood to take Sam's goading. The man has caused him enough grief. And the implication that he would hurt Kara in anyway makes him cold.

Probably only because in the past it was true.

"It's Thursday, right?" Sam questions, oblivious to Lee's internal musings. As the other man nods, Sam swears. "Frak. Do you know where she went?"

Slamming his locker door shut, Lee turns to face him. "She's returning Kacey to her mother."

The paleness of Sam's features at the mention of Kacey tells Lee all he needs to know – Sam knows something and Lee is going to find out what it is.

"Who is Kacey?" he questions before Anders kind find his voice. "And why is Kara spending time with her?"

"I don't think that's any of your business." Anders is good, Lee will give him that. But Lee is determined.

"What do you know, Sam?" Lee continues to advance on the taller man, using his best look of intimidation; everyone always backs down at the sight of it – well, everyone except Kara.

Sighing heavily, Sam's shoulders sag back against the wall and he shakes his head. "Probably not a hell of a lot more than you, Captain."

Now Lee's just annoyed. It's no secret he doesn't like Anders, but this evasive bullshit is just ridiculous. Sighing heavily, Lee scowls. "Fine, don't tell me."

"It's really not my story to tell," Sam shoots back, his own eyes blazing with a bit of frustration. "Kara hasn't told you anything about what happened to her on New Caprica, has she?"

Lee feels his cheeks heat up. The last thing he wants to do is admit to Sam that Kara won't tell him anything – she barely mentions New Caprica or her time there, even before the Cylon invasion. No matter how many times Lee tries to pry the knowledge out of her, she just won't give. Anders doesn't need to know that.

"Never mind." Sam sighs and bows his head for a moment. When he lifts his eyes back to Lee's face, the captain is horrified to see something like pity staring back at him. "We are two sorry bastards, aren't we?" Pushing himself off the wall, Sam wanders to the center of the room and sits on the edge of the table. Lee pivots to face him, still trying to determine the best comeback to his obviously rhetorical question. "We're both in love with a woman who would just as soon die as show either of us, for even a second that she's scared."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lee schools his features to be calm. "What does she have to be scared of? The invasion's over. She's safe on Galactica."

"Kara's never felt safe anywhere," Sam counters, his bitter tone telling Lee this is an argument he's had with the woman in question before. "And she sure as hell doesn't feel safe on Galactica, not anymore."

"Why?" Lee's offended now. How dare Kara feel unsafe on this ship, his ship – their ship. "No one here is going to hurt her."

"It's not physical pain she's afraid of, Apollo." Sam sighs again, his hand rubbing against the back of his neck. "It's the nightmares she can't shake." Lee's jaw sets into a hard line and Sam questions, "You know she's not sleeping, right? You have to know that, you share quarters with her."

They're getting sidetracked and Lee does not need a reminder of how precarious Kara's health is at the moment. He knows she's not doing well. But she won't let him help, so what choice does he have but to stand by and watch her self-destruct?

Shaking the disturbing image of Kara exploding from his mind, Lee focuses back on Sam. "What does this have to do with Kara babysitting?"

Snorting, Sam actually chuckles, but it's not a happy sound. "Babysitting? You think Kara's all of sudden become a nurturer? You think she's going to start watching random brats for their parents?"

Lee shrugs and Sam laughs again. "You really are dense, Apollo. I always wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, but seriously, the level of your cluelessness is astounding."

"Look, Sam, either you know something or you don't." Lee is through with this conversation. He was actually through with it the moment it started.

"I don't know exactly why and I sure as hell don't know how, but Kara came back from New Caprica thinking Kacey was hers."

Brow furrowing, Lee feels confusion settling in. "Hers?"

"Yeah, like _hers_, like she gave birth to her. Or at least made half of her." Shrugging, Sam sighs again. "I suppose after what happened on Caprica at that Farm, it might be possible. But … Well, it doesn't really make sense. But Kara doesn't seem to use logic so much anymore."

Lee staggers back a step, glad Sam isn't looking at him so he can retain some dignity. Feeling the hard ridge of his locker door at his back, he sinks against it, trying to understand what exactly Sam has just said. Kara thinks she's a mother, or at least she did. And now, months after they cleared out of New Caprica, she obviously still feels a connection to this little girl. It made horrifying sense and Lee finds himself dutifully horrified.

"Who is the father?" The words are out before he even realizes he's thought them. Glancing up quickly, he meets Sam's weary gaze. "She can't be yours."

"Technically, she can't be Kara's either," he points out. Rising, Sam shakes his head. "No, she's not mine. She's …" Sam can't finish the thought because in truth, it's too disturbing for words. He hasn't voiced his opinion to anyone since Kara told him in bits and pieces what exactly happened to her during the occupation. And judging by the paleness of the Captain's features, he wouldn't take the idea all that well either. "I have a few theories, but nothing solid. Kara hasn't actually told me more than what I've just told you."

Lee nods and then doesn't speak. He still can't form words. Closing his eyes for a moment, he actually prays, asking his call sign namesake for strength and Artemis for insight. Lastly, he asks Aphrodite for love so that when he asks Kara the hard questions she'll know it's because he loves her, not because he wants to hurt her.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I'd go find her if I were you." Sam's words startle him and Lee's eyes snap back to his face. "She loves that little girl, but handing her back to her mom – it hurts."

Nodding numbly, Lee watches as Sam leaves, lightly punching the door frame on the way. Left alone in the bunk, his thoughts are barely ordered. He can't comprehend how all of this could have been happening with Kara and how he could not have known.

It's no secret that she has an amazing ability to hide her feelings from everyone. Including Lee, which is perhaps the most disturbing. He's been trying for years to break down those damn barriers she's built. He knows they've been fortified over time with a multitude of events and emotions that Lee can hardly guess at, much less name. So instead, he has to scrutinize every statement, every gesture, every expression for any insight into Kara.

After years of doing that, and the past few months of sleeping with her, Lee still doesn't know nearly enough. And now, he feels he knows almost nothing.

He can't stand not knowing. Surveying the now empty bunkroom for only a few moments, Lee heads out purposefully. There are only a handful of tent cities on Galactic; only a few places Kacey and her mother could be. And where he finds them, he finds Kara.

He's barely two steps down the hall before he feels an unfamiliar tremor under his feet. Knowing it's not one of Galactica's normal shudders, he's already halfway to the nearest comm when Gaeta's voice rings through the hall. "Pass the word, Commander Adama call CIC. Commander Adama, call CIC."

Wondering why his stomach's suddenly tightened with fear, Lee picks up the handset. "This is Adama."

---- ----

Her eyes are stinging, badly. Kara chokes back a cough, knowing the action will only cause her to inhale more smoke. She can't see anything and the disorientation is almost worse than the stinging in her eyes and the burning in her nostrils.

"Kacey?" Through gritted teeth, Kara says her name, trying to find the little girl. She'd let her walk the last few steps and as soon as the explosion rocked the decking, she'd lost her grip on the girl's tiny hand. Oh Gods.

"Kacey, baby, answer me."

Her ears are basically useless, the sound of the explosion still ringing in them. Forcing her eyes open, Kara tries to see through the dense smoke and her tears. Placing her forearm tightly against her mouth, Kara staggers to her feet. She flails for support, her hand connecting with the metal wall. It's a full three seconds before she realizes the metal is burning and as such manages to burn her hand. Yanking it away with a wince, she cradles the now throbbing limb to her chest and takes a few hesitant steps forward.

"Kacey?"

There are moans emanating from around her, drifting up from the deck below. She knows that as an officer of the Colonial Fleet she should stop and assess the victims, provide some kind of rudimentary triage until the medics arrive, but Kara is singularly concerned with only one life right now.

Her left foot is sluggish and Kara glances down, catching a bright spot of red soaking through her sweats just above her left knee. Groaning, Kara's glad for the adrenaline rush as she knows it's staving off the pain. She needs to find Kacey.

"Damn it!"

Ducking her head, Kara takes a few more steps forward and clears through a bit of the smoke. The sight before her is worse than the hall behind and she wishes for a moment she couldn't see it in such stark relief. The tent city, Camp Oil-Slick, is in shambles. There are still a few fires burning, but hardly anyone is moving. The smell of burned flesh and ignited tar fills Kara's nostrils and she coughs as her eyes water again.

"Kacey!"

It's a shriek cry full of desperation. She can't have lost her, she can't have lost Kacey to this – it isn't right.

Blessedly, she hears the small whimper. As if her ears have become specially attuned, Kara's head whips towards the sound. Squinting, she stumbles towards the girl, seeing her small form outlined against the far wall. Reminiscent of so many months ago, there is a gash on her forehead, blood pouring down her cheek as she cries, small sobs escaping from her injured body.

"Kara." Her voice is pained and Kara wonders where else she's hurt. She feels a familiar helplessness well in her chest at the sight of the little girl in pain. Dropping to her knees before her, Kara reaches out her uninjured arm, trying to pull Kacey towards her.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here." She reaches around her shoulders and tugs as gently as she can only causing Kacey to cry out in pain. Kara's body immediately stiffens, her sluggish mind working frantically to come up with a way to get to the girl. Reassessing her position, Kara's heart thuds loudly against her rib cage as she notices the piece of piping that has fallen across Kacey's right leg. The shin and ankle are cocked at a weird angle from the thigh and Kara knows the leg is broken or worse, the bone may be shattered.

Resting a hand to Kacey's cheek, Kara tries to swallow her panic. "You're okay, sweetie. All right? You're going to be okay."

"Hurts," she whines, her breath coming in huge gasps as her body starts to fight for oxygen; she's going into shock.

"I know, Kacey. Stay with me, okay? Kacey?"

She wants to shake her to keep her awake, but knows it'll do more harm than good. Powerless, Kara turns towards the mouth of the corridor, praying that the movement she's seeing isn't a figment of her imagination. Praying that the rescue party really has arrived.

"Help her." Kara's pretty sure it's the loss of blood and the fade of adrenaline that causes dark spots to dance in her vision before she blacks out completely.

---- ----

Lee's lungs are already burning by the time he takes in his first deep breath of smoke. He's sprinted the entire way to Camp Oil-Slick and while he likes to think he's regained he's pre-New Caprica shape, the stitch in his side tells him otherwise. As his eyes scan the destruction his heart thuds harder in his chest too; this is so very bad.

"Commander?"

The marine's clipped tone draws Lee's attention and he returns the salute before barking out, "Sitrep."

"We just sent in the first team, sir. They took some air vacs. Hopefully they can clean it out so the medics'll have an easier time doing their job."

"Casualties?" Lee's heart won't stop pounding even though he's easily caught his breath again.

"We expect them to be heavy." The marine is all business and Lee simultaneously admires and hates his detachment. "No one was even able to send a distress call."

"No one evac'd?" The question is hardly more than a whisper. Lee's eyes go wide as the scene before him starts to resolve into noticeable shapes, colors and sizes. He wishes it had stayed foggy.

"Get me the latest roster for this camp and anyone working on deck," he orders the guard. Jogging towards the destruction, he adds, "And get me some frakking medics!"


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Acceptance

Ship: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG – PG-13

Disclaimers: It's not mine. Sadly.

Spoilers: Takes place in mid-Season 3 and is AU. In my 'verse Dee and Apollo have been over for a while and Lee and Kara have done more than just make-out in supply closets.

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Acceptance, 2/4

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Lee looks up as he smells the doc approaching. The man's penchant for cigarettes makes him particularly easy to recognize.

"Kara?"

Her name is hoarse and Lee wishes his lungs would stop hurting. They'd already made him suck down an hour's worth of pure oxygen. Lee doesn't relish the idea of more; the burn of the pure gas is almost worse than the burn of the smoke.

"She'll be all right." Cottle's voice is as hoarse as Lee's but for other reasons. "Damn stubborn girl," he mutters. Lee doesn't miss the note of admiration in his tone. "She lost a lot of blood," he explains. As Kara's CAG Lee's entitled to a full medical brief, but they both know that's not the only reason he's interested.

"Damn near nicked her femoral artery. She coulda bled out in the first few minutes."

"But she's all right?" Until Lee can see her and verify that she's still breathing in and out he needs the other man's assurance.

"Yeah, we gave her a transfusion, stitched up the cut. Wrapped her hand too; that was one hell of a burn."

Closing his eyes, Lee murmurs a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods. Of course the darkness also conjures the image of Kara injured and lying at his feet in the smoke-filled corridor. Kara and-

"How's Kacey?"

"The little girl?" If Cottle's surprised by his interest, he doesn't let it show. "She'll be fine, kids are resilient. Suffered a mild concussion and broke the frak outta her leg. But she'll be fine."

"Her mother?" Lee forces the question out even as Kacey's tiny voice, calling for Kara and her mother, echoes in his head.

"We haven't ID'd her yet, but we haven't found any survivors either." Cottle's eyes hold a bit of sympathy as he shakes his head once. "I'm not optimistic."

Lee isn't either.

"I want to see Kara."

Cottle gestures down the row of curtained-off beds he's just walked through. "Second one from the end. She'll be out for a bit. I gave her the good stuff, to help with the pain."

Lee nods and then hurries away, glad that the chaos makes him anonymous. He shouldn't be rushing to Kara's bedside, but he can't help himself, she could have died today – almost left him for good – again.

Pushing back the curtain, Lee closes it and takes a step towards her before lifting his eyes. His chest aches and Lee knows it isn't from smoke inhalation. He can't stand to see her broken. It's not Kara, this woman before him, so pale and vulnerable. He doesn't like to view her like this because it only reminds him that there are forces out there that can hurt her.

Never mind that he's inflicted his own wounds to her over time. Never mind that she's survived worse. All he knows is that one day her luck will run out. One day, someone or something will hurt Kara Thrace so badly that he'll lose her.

He can't.

Approaching her side cautiously, Lee reaches for her uninjured hand; well, less injured hand. There are a few scrapes along the back of it and what looks to be the start of a bruise below her knuckles.

Holding it gingerly, Lee sinks into the chair next to her, blue eyes locked on her pale, yet peaceful face. It's sad that only injury can bring Kara this kind of peace. Not even when she sleeps is she this unaffected and his heart hurts as he realizes he's known she's been suffering and he's done nothing.

But what could he do? There was Sam and Dee and they're nothing but excuses. Lee wants Kara, has wanted her before they even rescued her from New Caprica. But he's still kept his distance, unwilling to come on too strong and push her away completely.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Lee brushes his lips against the bruise. "You've got to stop doing this, Kara." He knows she can't hear him, which is probably what's loosened his tongue. "I can't lose you again. Do you hear me?"

She doesn't respond. He knew she wouldn't. "Kara, I mean it, please don't-" Swallowing hard, Lee fights back a wave of emotion. "Don't leave me, all right? You can't. You can't because I … I love you. I meant it before and I mean it now."

She's still unresponsive; the drugs Cottle gave her obviously doing their job.

With another heavy sigh, Lee gently places her hand back on the bed, before leaning forward to caress her cheek. "I'm here, Kara."

---- ----

"_She's yours, Kara. She's yours and mine."_

_Kara stares at the girl in his arms and her stomach drops out. She can't. It's not … "That _thing_ isn't mine."_

"_What did you think we did to you on Caprica, Kara?"_

_He's smiling that sick smile and she wants to scream. But she tried screaming the first few weeks and it didn't work. She tried silence in the weeks after and now she's just resigned to speaking with him in something resembling civility. But it doesn't mean she likes it; or him._

"_You didn't _do_ anything. This is a lie." Pointing at the thing in his arms, she accuses, "_That _is a lie."_

"_Kara." Leoben's voice is scolding. "How can you say that about our daughter? Your own flesh and blood?"_

"No."

Lee jerks awake instantly as he hears Kara's low moan. She hasn't woken yet, but he can see the furrow to her brow, and the light sheen of sweat breaking over her forehead. It's another nightmare.

"No. It's a lie." Her voice is broken and raw. Lee rises and leans over her, resting a gentle hand to her shoulder.

She pulls violently away from his touch and he tries to ignore the wave of hurt he feels. "Kara?"

"_She'll be hungry soon." Leoben has placed that thing on the floor and she's staring at Kara with huge, trusting eyes. Didn't anyone explain to this child that trust is earned? "There's food on the table. You're not going to let her starve, are you?"_

"_Hey! Where are you going?" Kara feels desperation and anger well in her chest and she races up the stairs. Just once she'd like to tackle that sick mother frakker as he's leaving. If she could beat him just once, she'd be free._

"_Mama?"_

_Kara's body tenses at the sound of the voice. It's small and innocent and full of hope and it breaks Kara's heart. Before she can turn and yell, Kara hears something else that freezes her breath in her lungs; a small whimper and a thud. _

_Whirling, Kara sees Kacey injured, but not from the apartment all those months ago. Now, she's sitting in the middle of the smoking ruins of her tent city, another large gash across her forehead and tears streaming down her dirt smudged cheeks. "Mama?"_

"It's okay, baby. I'm coming."

Lee is unsure what to do, but the incessant beeping of the machines monitoring Kara's condition has started to worry him. Her heart rate has sped up and he knows it's getting close to dangerous. Risking her reaction, he places his hand to her shoulder again and shakes her gently. "Kara, wake up. You're just dreaming."

"Kacey!"

With a strangled cry, Kara wakes, hazel eyes clouded with pain and drugs staring at the ceiling. Before she can even register where she is, Kara tries to sit up, the pain in her leg and arm sending the message to her brain that it's a bad idea. Panting from the exertion, she falls back against the mattress, squeezing her eyes shut. "Kacey," she whimpers.

Lee swallows hard. He now has all the puzzle pieces, he can put it together. That sound, that whimpered name, that's what he hears in the middle of the night when Kara wakes and cannot fall back to sleep. All this time her nightmares have been about that small, golden-haired child and Lee had no idea.

What was worse, he hadn't tried to find out.

"She's all right, Kara," he whispers, perching on the edge of her bed.

Forcing her eyes open, Kara tries to blink away her tears and can't do it. Lee catches the first one as it rolls down her cheek and then leaves his hand to rest gently against her face, infusing her with much needed warmth. "Kacey?" she whispers, hoping for answers.

"Her leg's broken and she has a mild concussion, but she's all right." Lee watches as Kara's entire body relaxes at this news. It's as if the tension just flows out of her.

Closing her eyes, Kara can't believe the relief she feels. "Thank the Gods."

Lee continues to study her. She's gotten a little color back, but not enough to satisfy him. Reaching for her hand, he takes it in his own and offers her a small smile as she snaps her eyes open to regard him. She's uncertain what his actions mean, what his presence at her bedside means. She's even more uncertain of her role in this scenario. Is he expecting something?

"You're going to be all right, too." He knows she didn't ask, but he has to repeat it, if only for himself. "You lost a lot of blood, but the doc stitched you up. In a few days, he'll probably let you out of here. But you won't be going near a Viper cockpit anytime soon."

Groaning, Kara stifles the curse that rises to her lips. She's exhausted which is the only reason she doesn't pick a fight with him; well, and the fact that he's right.

Smiling slightly at her reaction, Lee leans forward and brushes his lips to her cheek. "Yes, I'm just a mean old CAG, you remember that."

Opening her eyes, Kara feels her tension rising again. This Lee, the easy-going, carefree one is a different animal and she has no idea how to handle him. Sure, they've been dancing around the issue of "them" for a while now, but until today she's never seen him act this way – as if they're a couple. A real one, not the illicit affair they've been until now.

"Lee." She needs to understand, but Kara already feels sleep beckoning once more and she knows her eyelids will soon lose their fight with gravity.

"How about we argue after you've gotten some more rest?" He's still smiling, that annoying grin that she openly hates, but secretly loves and all she can do is nod.

"Stay?" She barely manages to push the word out before she falls asleep once more.

But Lee hears it and he obeys.

---- ----

"Did you find Julia?"

Lee awakens to Kara's whispered voice. Rubbing his eyes, he sits forward and works the kink out of his neck, bringing the room into focus. The perturbed look on Cottle's face and the determined one on Kara's brings him up to speed pretty fast.

"Hey, you're awake."

Startled, Kara turns to face him and Lee notices the look of apprehension playing across her features. Whether it's directed at him or in relation to something else, he doesn't know. But without question, Lee rises out of the chair and sits beside her, wrapping her hand in his. "What's going on?"

"I want to see Kacey." Her jaw is set, her eyes firm and Lee recognizes the look. She's not letting this go.

"I don't see a problem with that." Lee knows taking her side is the path of the least resistance. Glancing over his shoulder, he questions, "Doc?"

Sighing heavily, Cottle doesn't answer either of them, just scowls before reaching into the pocket of his lab coat and pulling out a cigarette. As he walks away muttering under his breath, Lee can't help but let out a small chuckle. "You certainly know how to push his buttons."

He turns back to face her, hoping to she might share his good humor, but the sight that greets him is devastating. Any energy she had has ebbed away and Lee watches as pale and stricken she sinks back into the bed. Closing her eyes, she takes in a few deep breaths and he is once again reminded of how very close he came to losing her.

Without forethought, he takes his hand from hers and runs the backs of his fingers down the side of her cheek. The touch forces her eyes open and there's more fear there, not less. Worried he's making it worse, Lee pulls his hand back to his lap and murmurs, "Sorry."

Kara swallows hard, wishing she could think clearly, wishing she knew what to make of all of this, wishing she could just push aside all the crap of the past year and a half and ask Lee to hold her. But Kara Thrace has never put much stock in wishes.

"Lee?" Her voice is still hoarse and she swallows again. As his blue eyes alight back to her face, she feels her breath catch in her throat at the intensity of emotion staring back at her. Those eyes can render her speechless, defenseless and senseless in seconds – and they just did it again. "What's going on?"

Puzzled, he drops his voice to a whisper. "You don't remember?"

Shaking her head, the movement is a bad idea and Kara grits her teeth against the wave of pain. As it recedes, she corrects him, "I remember the explosion and the fire. What's going on with us? Why are you here?"

As his heart thuds painfully against his rib cage, Lee tries to conjure the best answer to that question. "Do you want me to go?" he asks, praying she won't say yes, but needing more time to form a response.

If possible, her features pale further. "No." Searching his face for any clue, she adds in a whisper, "I just want to know where we stand."

Sighing, Lee nods once and then, tentatively, covers her hand with his own once more. "I'm tired, Kara." She doesn't move, doesn't react and he takes that as encouragement to continue. "I'm tired of running and pretending. I'm tired of missing you, tired of hurting you."

Kara can't speak and she's surprised she can still hear Lee over the pounding of her own heart. She can't believe he's willing to lay his feelings bear before her again. He's said similar things before, but it's always Kara who pulls away. She won't give in; she can't believe the Gods have deemed her worthy enough to get another chance.

Edging closer, Lee's hand is back to her cheek and she turns into the touch, nuzzling her lips against his palm. The movement, so sweet and affectionate is almost his undoing and gathering his courage, he finally manages, "Tell me you want this." Kara's eyes flutter open once more, her hazel orbs meeting his and he continues, "Tell me you want us."

He can't make it any plainer and Kara knows it. Holding his gaze with her own, she moves her free hand up his chest and curls it around the back of his neck, bringing his mouth within inches of hers. "More than anything," she whispers before crossing that last tiny distance and pressing her mouth to his.

Lee is stunned for all of a second. He's kissed Kara before of course, kissed her and more in the past months, but he's never kissed her knowing that they're free; free to be together. The change is palpable. Her soft, full lips possess his with passion and tenderness that, when combined, speak more loudly to him of her feelings than words ever could.

Breathing her in, Lee needs to deepen the kiss, needs to confirm for himself that this is real. He runs his tongue lightly against her lower lip and Kara's moan is all the encouragement he needs. Coaxing her mouth open, he slides his tongue into the warmth, exploring with abandon. Kara's passion matches his own and he has to pull her closer, his arm wrapping around her shoulders and bringing her flush to his chest.

Kara holds on for dear life as the kiss continues, both of them stealing quick breaths, hesitant to let go and break the spell. She can't let go of Lee again. She knows it will break her.

The loud clearing of someone's throat startles them both and they break apart swiftly, unaware of the flush to their cheeks and their kiss-swollen lips. Glancing towards the room's entrance both sets of eyes alight to the doctor holding a small girl in his arms.

"You have a visitor," he tells them, before stepping into the room and approaching Kara's side.

"Kara?"

The sound of Kacey's voice as she recognizes her friend cuts Kara deep. Lee watches in awe as her face lights up into the biggest smile as the little girl gets closer. She easily disengages her good arm from Lee and reaches out to the doctor who gingerly settles Kacey onto Kara's lap, making sure to straighten out the child's cast leg into a comfortable position.

Lee can't stop looking at them. Kara's eyes have overflowed with tears of what he's sure are happiness as Kacey leans her head against Kara's chest, her small arm snaking its way around Kara's waist. Kara gently strokes her back, resting her cheek on the child's curly hair. As she begins to hum, Lee feels his heart swell.

The peace he'd seen before, when Kara was sleeping is replaced with a deeper contentment the moment Kacey is placed in her arms. Comforting this child, or any child, seems to be part of what Kara was born to do and Lee has the briefest flash of her holding their baby in her arms.

"Mama?" Kacey's hesitant voice pulls Lee's and Kara's attention to her immediately. Meeting his gaze over the child's head, Kara's wide eyes implore him silently for help.

Knowing there is not much he can do, Lee quickly adjusts his position, moving to sit beside Kara, his arm around her shoulders. As she shifts, pressing herself into his side, she meets Kacey's teary gaze and brushed a few stray curls from the child's face.

"Do you remember the explosion, baby?" she asks, her voice hoarse. As Kacey nods, Kara continues. Lee squeezes her shoulder for support and he feels her sink a little more securely into his side. "Well, your mama, she wasn't able to leave fast enough. And she-" Kara's voice falters. Kacey has lost a mother and Kara has lost a friend. She doesn't know how to do this.

Lee can see her distress and he doesn't blame her. One look at Kacey's trusting gaze and he's already a puddle of goo on the decking. Those big eyes look between Kara and Lee and back again, waiting for an answer.

Pressing his lips to Kara's temple, Lee places his mouth at her ear, and whispered softly, "You can do this."

Taking the words for the encouragement they are, Kara nods slightly and offers Kacey a watery smile. "Your mama didn't make it, Kacey. She's not coming back."

Still uncertain, Kacey pushes the point. "Mama? Where?"

"She's gone, Kacey." Kara's voice is trembling and she swallows several times in an effort to get it under control. "She's not coming back, sweetie."

"Mama be with Kacey." The little girl is adamant and Kara doesn't know what to tell her. "Mama!" As she calls for her dead mother, tears welling in her eyes when the woman doesn't come, Kacey begins to struggle on Kara's lap. Injured, she isn't much of a match for the two-year-old, but even as Lee tries to help steady the girl, Kara rebuffs him.

Glancing over Kacey's head, Kara's eyes lock with his and she shakes her head a just a bit. He backs off as she requests.

Kara's only reaction is to hold the little one tighter, rocking her gently back and forth and whispering nonsense words to her. Lee watches them both, his own helplessness almost swallowing him whole. Kara's tears are streaking her cheeks and so he just pulls her tighter into his side as she tries to quiet the child.

Eventually, Kacey cries herself to sleep, exhaustion and pain medication a heady combination. As her breathing evens out, Kara's body relaxes a bit. Pressing another kiss to the girl's forehead, she finally turns to Lee, her wide hazel eyes brimming with more tears. "Lee," she breathes before burying her face into his shoulder, her body shaking with silent sobs.

"You'll be okay," he murmurs, his lips whispering against her forehead. With his other arm he reaches across the little girl and holds them both, wanting nothing more than to make Kara feel safe and wanted. "You both will."

---- ----


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Acceptance

Ship: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG – PG-13, Extra Warning: The beginning of this chapter is extremely fluffy!

Disclaimers: It's not mine. Sadly.

Spoilers: Takes place in mid-Season 3 and is AU. In my 'verse Dee and Apollo have been over for a while and Lee and Kara have done more than just make-out in supply closets.

---- ----

Acceptance, 3/4

---- ----

Lee enters the briefing room and can't help smiling. He spots Kara, injured leg propped up on the desk in the corner as she leafs through some pages in her hand. Her forehead is creased with lines of frustration and he can only guess how unhappy she is that she's still not cleared to fly and instead stuck doing paperwork.

Although, he also guesses that having Kacey for company helps to soften the blow. The girl in question is sitting across the room from Kara in one of the front row seats. She's gripping a large pencil in her hand, sitting up on her knees. Her tongue is stuck out of the side of her mouth in a look Lee has come to associate with extreme concentration.

As she moves the pencil back and forth, Lee moves towards her. "Hey there munchkin."

"Lee!" She squeals, a huge grin lighting her face, as she drops the pencil and immediately holds her arms up.

Recognizing the universal symbol to be picked up, Lee obliges, swinging Kacey out of her seat and through the air as she giggles. Spinning her in the center of the room, he catches Kara's eye for a second and notices a grin similar to Kacey's playing across her face; one she quickly tries to hide, burying her nose back in her paperwork.

Settling Kacey on his hip, Lee grins at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Are you having fun with Kara?"

She nods enthusiastically, her hands settling around his dog tags and playing with the small metal hexagons. "Doing work," she informs him, her face a mixture of seriousness and pride.

Cocking an eyebrow, Lee meets Kara's gaze again and notices she can no longer avoid the look of bemusement that has crossed her features. "Work, huh? What kind of work?"

"'Kedools." The word is a bit difficult for a small child, but Kacey makes it discernible enough.

Nodding, Lee humors her. "Oh, schedules. You're helping Kara out, huh?"

Kacey nods again before resting her head to Lee's shoulder. He had known coming off CAP that it was close to Kacey's naptime. He had also known that while Kara might deny it, she can't carry the girl long distances yet, not with her arm and leg still operating at less than full strength.

Rubbing his hand along her back, Lee takes a peek at the papers Kacey was intently scribbling on moments before, curious to see what she might have drawn. Stepping closer, his brows knit together and he turns to Kara who is still watching them while trying to pretend she isn't.

"Kara?" 

Intently staring at her own paperwork, Kara manages a noncommittal, "Hmm?"

Gesturing to the papers, he leans over to pick them up, careful not to jostle Kacey who has already started to nod off. "These are actual schedules."

Fixing him with a glare he's come to know intimately throughout their friendship, Kara shrugs. "So?"

If he didn't find Kacey so cute or Kara so damn endearing, Lee's fairly certain he'd be miffed right now. "You let her 'play' with the actual flight schedules."

Rising, Kara hobbles over to him and glances over his shoulder. He doesn't miss the feeling of her breath against his exposed shoulder, but he does fight valiantly not to let her nearness affect him. He's not so sure he's successful.

"She did a damn sight better than I could." Kara's teasing tone makes him laugh while the sight of her smoothing a hand through Kacey's hair makes his heart melt. "I mean, look at that?" She gestures to a row full of the girl's scribble. "I never would have thought to put those two on rotation together."

Lee laughs again, the deep rumble vibrating through Kacey who simply snuggles more securely against his chest. Immediately tamping down the sound, Lee nods in the direction of the door. "Do you have time for a break?"

Nodding, Kara stifles a yawn. Holding out a hand, she steadies herself along the wall. "Yeah, I need to get that little one to bed anyway." Glancing over her shoulder, the smile Kara gives him now is genuine and heart-warming and Lee has to fight the urge to kiss her. "Thanks for helping me with her."

Her gratitude is unnecessary as Lee has told her a dozen times before. In the weeks following the accident and Julia's death, Lee has been spending quite a bit of time with Kacey and Kara. At first, his old friend was ready to dismiss him, certain he was hanging around due to some overblown sense of pride or duty. But that isn't it. Lee enjoys spending time with Kacey. She's a bright little girl with an infectious laugh.

However, his real reasoning has much more to do with Kacey's adoptive mom than the girl herself. The Kara he sees when Kacey's around is carefree and light-hearted. She grins and giggles and plays. She makes silly faces and tells stories. She even comforts the girl when she has a nightmare and manages to convince to eat all her vegetables.

This new Kara is one Lee has never seen before and he's enjoying getting to know her. It amazes him that after over three years of friendship there are still things about Kara which can surprise him. Still things about her that make him love her more.

"It's my pleasure," Lee responds easily. As they reach the bulkhead, he readjusts his hold on Kacey and offers Kara his free arm. She glances at it quickly, a small tint of pink coloring her cheeks, before she wraps her arm through it, allowing him to serve as her support through Galactica's winding halls.

Walking with the two prettiest girls in the fleet on his arm, Lee can't help but smile.

---- ----

Kara places Kacey in bed, smiling even as the girl fights sleep, her eyelids drooping. "I'm not tired," she whines, unable to stifle the yawn that comes.

Kissing her forehead, Kara sits beside her, rubbing her back as the girl gets comfortable, bunching her fists under her chin and lying on her side towards Kara. "Yes, you are. Now sleep, little one."

Kacey yawns again. "Tell me a story."

Flexing her still injured leg, Kara tries to conjure up a good tale. Continuing to rub soothing circles on Kacey's back, she speaks in a low tone, staring at the side of the little girl's face, her eyes finally closing as her breathing evens out.

Kara finds herself unable to move from Kacey's side even after she knows she's asleep. Most nights it's all Kara can do to head to her own bunk and rest. She knows that Kacey is fine, safe, protected, sleeping only a few feet away, but every time she closes her eyes, nightmare images confront Kara.

If it isn't Leoben and his sick, twisted grin, it's the explosion, fire and smoke swirling around Kacey and her injured form. So many things have been taken from Kara, so many people. Frak, she's already lost Kacey once. But now, in the wake of Julia's death, it seems she might be getting a second chance. The guilt she feels knowing that Kacey's biological mother's passing brought her back into Kara's life for good almost chokes her. Kara tries not to focus on it. Tries to dwell on the fact that the most important thing is Kacey and her happiness. And she does seem happy with Kara.

And Kara knows she is more than happy with her. The past three weeks have been almost surreal. Kara has become a parent almost overnight. She fixes lunches and washes tiny clothes and plays with dolls. She tells bedtime stories and fixes warm milk substitute when Kacey can't sleep. She's started to worry about school and if Kacey has enough friends her age. She finds her mind drifting during CAP, thinking of Kacey and if she's happy, if she misses Kara half as much as Kara misses her.

The separation is the hardest part. Kara finds herself actually dreading getting into a cockpit and the realization is unsettling for a variety of reasons. Flying was always her one true constant. When nothing else in her life was going right, flying had never let her down. Her Viper's cockpit is almost more familiar than any bunk. But now Kara finds her time away from Kacey, whether in a cockpit or out of it, almost unbearable.

It probably would be if she wasn't able to leave the little girl with Lee. How exactly he keeps finding the time to spend with both Kara and Kacey is a bit of a mystery to her, but he does. Since the accident, they've only spent one night apart and it was only because Lee had to work. They haven't argued once and Kara marvels at that change in their relationship more than any other.

Lee and Kara not fighting is a bit like Starbuck and Apollo not flying. It just doesn't happen. But there's a change in Lee and, if Kara's honest, a change in herself as well. Lee has become Kacey's surrogate father. Something shifted the day of the accident, the day he finally met Kacey and Kara has never seen him so committed.

Of course, if she thought he only wanted a relationship with Kacey, Kara knows she'd be devastated. She doesn't think that's the case. Most of the time they spend together is when Kacey's asleep. Staying up until all hours talking about everything and nothing, Kara knows Lee isn't there out of boredom or duty or any other motivation. She wants to believe he's with her out of love, but she's been unable to actually ask and he hasn't volunteered.

Some things would just have to wait.

Rising finally, Kara places another kiss to Kacey's forehead and quietly heads across the bunk to her bed. As she hits the light beside her rack, she hears the strangest whisper, and her body tenses. She knows it's nothing, more than likely one of Galactica's many cycles, but this knowledge doesn't keep her from curling her blankets tight around her or falling asleep with her eyes focused on the shut hatch.

---- ----

Lee only remembers feeling this worn out a few years ago, when the Cylons attacked very thirty-three minutes and no one got any sleep. Rolling his neck from side to side, he gets a satisfying if painful crack from the motion and releases a sigh, jogging down the closest flight of stairs.

He needs sleep. He knows he's been pushing himself, but he can't help it. Regardless of how little rest he's actually getting, the nights he's had with Kara, talking and laughing and being mean more to him than shuteye. And he'll keep denying his body a chance to recharge if it means he gets to keep this new easy-going nature of their relationship.

They haven't talked about "them" since his confession in Life Station. Lee isn't sure how he feels about Kara's avoidance; or his own for that matter. It would seem that sharing quarters and parenting a small child would force a few of these issues to the surface. There's no reason for him to share quarters with Kara, he's got a perfectly good rack a few decks below. But Kacey had been agitated the first few nights out of the hospital and Kara, still not up to full strength had quite honestly needed his help. That isn't really the case any more and yet, he's still bunking on her couch. He assumed the situation would make them both anxious to talk about what was happening between them and where it's going. But as the weeks stretch by with no mention and no further physical developments than a few heady kisses, Lee isn't so sure he can keep waiting.

Reaching the hatch to Kara's and Kacey's quarters, small, private ones the Old Man had managed to wrangle once it became obvious Kara and Kacey were not to be separated, Lee tries to push his doubts from his mind. It's late and Kara is probably asleep, as he should be. There would always be time for hard conversations in the morning.

Keying in the code, he swings open the door, doing his best to minimize the amount of light that spills in from the corridor. Shutting it with the softest click he can manage, he stands by the hatch for a second letting his eyes adjust to the dark. As the room comes into focus, he makes out Kara's huddled form on the mattress across the way. He studies her for a moment, noting the way her body is curled into the tiniest ball he's ever seen.

His chance to further examine why the sight bothers him so much is taken away as a small whimper startles him. Glancing in the direction of Kacey's bed, he hears the painful cry again and moves quickly. To her side in almost a second, Lee drops to his knees, noting that she's thrown off her covers and her sweaty pajamas are clinging to her thrashing body. "No. Mommy." She's moaning quietly and Lee tries to soothe her.

"It's okay, little one," he whispers, stroking a hand through her damp hair. As she continues to dream, he scoops her easily into his arms, pulling her into his chest and settling himself on the bed with her. "You're okay, Kacey. It's just a dream."

Lee holds her tight as she cries out for her mother again and then wakes with a start. She's shaking and Lee can't believe how tiny she is. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he whispers, "Its okay, Kacey. It was just a bad dream."

"Lee?" Her voice is hoarse and as she turns to meet his gaze, his heart catches in his throat at the pure sadness radiating from those huge eyes. "Where's mommy?" 

Swallowing hard, Lee wishes Kacey could understand. He and Kara both have spent the weeks since the accident trying to explain that Kacey's mother is not coming back. It seems every few days they have to field the question and while Lee can handle it, he knows that each time Kacey asks it pulls at Kara's heart. "She's not coming back, munchkin, remember? You're with Kara now. She's going to take care of you."

Her lower lip trembles and Lee braces himself for a torrent of tears. But to his surprise, Kacey turns in his arm, snuggling tightly against him. "Kara and Lee love Kacey?" she asks, her voice small and shaky.

Releasing a sigh and blinking back the sudden tightness behind his eyes, Lee kisses her forehead once more. "Yes, Kacey, Kara and Lee love you."

"Love you," Kacey murmurs and he feels her begin to drift off, her breath puffing out in an even pattern against his forearm.

Lee watches her sleep in amazement. He'd never had any idea he could feel this content.

---- ----

"_She's yours, Kara. Yours and mine. Our flesh and blood."_

"_You bastard."_

_Kara has grown to hate this apartment, this idyllic setting that Leoben and his sick toaster playmates think will put her at ease. She circles the coffee table now, watching her captor warily as he hugs the small child in his arms. If Kara didn't know better she'd think maybe the golden-haired girl really was hers._

_But she isn't, she's just a Cylon experiment. _

"_Get that thing out of here." The anger she feels welling in her chest is directed at Leoben and the child both. Kara tries to ignore the feeling of shame at yelling at the innocent girl. She knows it isn't her fault; she's a pawn in this damn war, this damn fight for Kara's sanity. She has to stifle a harsh laugh at the thought. Didn't these frakkers know she'd lost the battle for her sanity a long time ago?_

_In Kara's dreamscape, the scene shifts and she's sitting at Kacey's bedside. The girl's forehead is wrapped in a thick white bandage and Kara feels the wetness on her cheeks that speak of tears. "Gods, please don't take her. It was my mistake," she whispers before kissing Kacey's small hand and squeezing it gently in her own. _

_She watches Kacey's eyes flutter open. She cannot believe the relief she feels and as she squeezes Leoben's hand she knows he feels it too. Somewhere in her brain, Kara realizes they've crossed a line, _she_ has crossed a line, but at this moment, she can't care about that. All she knows is that the Gods have finally answered her prayer; they have brought her daughter back to her._

"_Let me take her." Kara isn't messing around and she knows Leoben can see it. But he's still smiling, that little grin that always said he had the upper hand._

_He never really did before. But he does now; this time is different because he's holding Kacey. "Say the words."_

_Kara can't believe it's come to this: after nights of killing the bastard, after months of captivity, the only way she can protect her daughter is to finally give in. _

_She can't believe it, but she'll do it._

Lee wakes, stretching his sore muscles. Kacey is still curled into his arms and he smiles down at her. He had never thought he could love a child this way. It's all-consuming, this love he feels for Kacey. Almost as overwhelming as what he feels for Kara, but at the same time completely different. He wants similar things for them both: to protect them, to love them, to provide for them. He knows that where Kacey's concerned these feelings are acceptable, even expected – of course, he would want those things for a child he considers his daughter.

But it won't be so easy convincing her adoptive mother to let him do the same for her. Kara's pride has always been his undoing and their greatest obstacle. Lee has never been able to convince her that relying on someone else doesn't mean she's weak. Gods, the last word he'd ever use to describe Kara is weak, but he's watched her, watched her open up and pull away within the breadth of a second and he doesn't know how to make it all right for her. He doesn't know how to reassure her that regardless of what she does or what she feels he won't run. He's done running.

He's tired.

"Let me take her."

Shocked by the sudden intrusion on his quiet moment, Lee glances up to make out Kara's form in the dim light of the bunk. Glancing to Kacey and then back to Kara, he tries to explain. "It's all right, Kara, she just had a nightmare."

Whether she doesn't hear him or chooses to ignore him Lee is uncertain. He watches as Kara lurches towards him and he realizes her stance is about more than her leg. She's off balance and he begins to wonder if she might be sleepwalking.

Rising, Kacey securely in his arms, Lee takes a cautious step towards her. "Kara, are you all right?"

"Give me Kacey." She takes another hesitant step forward almost sinking down onto the deck and Lee does his best to steady her. Shifting Kacey gently, he tells her, "Let me put her down and then we'll get you back to bed."

"Let me take her!"

She's shouting now and Lee just has time to place Kacey in bed before he feels the sharp stab of a weapon in his shoulder. Turning, he meets Kara's feral gaze, her fisted hand holding a butter knife at the ready. A few drops of Lee's blood are discernible in the light. Grabbing for her wrists, he tries to reason with her, bodily moving her out of Kacey's line of sight and back towards her bunk.

"Kara, wake up." He knows this is a nightmare now. "Kara, it's me, it's Lee. You're all right."

"Kacey!"

Her cry is loud and echoes around the small chamber. Not eager to have Kacey witness this side of Kara, Lee frees one of his hands and places it over her mouth. "Kara, please, wake up. You're all right."

His hold on her only seems to agitate her more and Kara swipes the knife at him, managing to graze his cheek. Finally making it to the bunk, the backs of her knees hit the edge, forcing her to fall and Lee loses his balance, falling on top of her.

"Get off of me, you motherfrakker!" Kara is struggling with a ferocity Lee has never seen in her before. He's sparred with her, flown with her, fought with her, but he can't ever remember her acting like this. "I don't love you! I won't love you, not ever!"

The knowledge that Kara is sleeping keeps Lee from despairing. Guessing that her reaction is another aspect of her nightmare, he eases off of her as quickly as he can, still holding her wrists. As she gets the knife to fall from her fist, he pulls her into his side and holds tight as she continues to flail about, moaning under her breath.

"Kara?"

Lee looks up, feeling more exhausted then ever and meets Kacey's wide-eyed gaze. "She's okay, sweetie. She's just having a nightmare."

Kacey seems to understand this and Lee is paralyzed for a moment as he watches the girl pad towards the bunk. He wants to tell her not to climb up, worried for her safety, but with a few more steps she's settled herself beside Kara's trembling form.

"It's okay, Kara," she whispers softly, a small hand brushing against Kara's forearm. "S'okay."

The scene breaks Lee's heart with both its simplicity and effectiveness. In moments Kara stops shaking, her breath evening out as Kacey's light touch brings about a level of peace Lee could never hope to replicate. Sighing tiredly, Kacey stays where she is for a few more moments and then, seemingly satisfied, curls herself into a ball between Kara and Lee and falls back to sleep.

Lee, still dumbfounded, can only watch them both through the night.

---- ----


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Acceptance

Ship: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG – PG-13

Disclaimers: It's not mine. Sadly.

Spoilers: Takes place in mid-Season 3 and is AU. In my 'verse Dee and Apollo have been over for a while and Lee and Kara have done more than just make-out in supply closets.

---- ----

Acceptance, 4/4

---- ----

Kara wakes first. Trying her best to stretch the kink from her neck, she vaguely wonders if she fell asleep in her Viper cockpit – her body certainly aches enough. As her eyes focus on the room though, and Lee's form comes into view she realizes where she is.

In snippets the previous night comes back. With a soft moan, she slumps away from Lee's warm body, curling up at the foot of the bed. It was the nightmares again, only this time she'd mistaken Lee for Leoben and demanded Kacey from him.

Kacey.

Sitting up, Kara looks for the blonde-haired child and feels her heart beat slow as she sets eyes on her, sitting on the floor by the couch, paper and colored pencils scattered around her. Casting a guilty look at Lee, who is sleeping in the most awkward position she can imagine, Kara slides off the bed and pads quietly towards the little girl.

"Morning, sweetie."

Kacey's pencil stops moving a second before she lifts her eyes to meet Kara's. There's a small crease in her forehead and Kara recognizes her look of scrutiny. Her big eyes sweep over her form before returning to her work. "Hi."

Swallowing hard past the sudden lump in her throat, Kara is afraid. She scared Kacey last night and that's the last thing she's ever wanted to do. Sitting on the end of the sofa, she watches as Kacey draws, peering over her shoulder to get a better look. As the gray-skied drawing and dark images come into view, Kara's heart pounds a bit more sharply against her rib cage.

"What are you drawing, munchkin?"

Kacey answers her in a small voice. "Home."

Closing her eyes for a moment, Kara says a silent prayer to the Gods. "Do you remember a lot?" She dreads the answer almost as much as she hates asking the question. But it seems important.

Kacey shrugs. "A little." She keeps coloring, working the point on the gray pencil in her hand almost down to a nub. As she sets it aside, she releases a small sigh and asks, "Kara, where's daddy?"

If Kara didn't know it was physically impossible she'd swear her heart had just fallen out of her chest. Clearing her throat, she wills her tears away and forces her voice steady. "Who, baby?"

When Kacey sighs this time, it's out of exasperation. Vaguely wondering how even two-year-olds manage to understand how dense adults are, Kara watches Kacey as the girl picks herself up off the floor and settles beside her. Sitting up on her knees, Kacey's eyes meet hers as she repeats her question. "Where's daddy? Did we leave him?"

Taking a deep breath, Kara opens her arms, praying the child will accept her embrace. As Kacey moves easily into her side, Kara lets out a sigh of relief. Now, the hard part. "Kace, what did your mom tell you? About that man?"

A distinct tremble shakes her small form and when Kacey speaks, her voice is even quieter than before. "Not my daddy. Kara not my mommy."

Wishing the words didn't still hurt, Kara fights down more tears. "She was right, Kacey. That man wasn't your father."

She's very quiet and Kara can't decide if her silence is a good thing. Gazing over the top of her head, her eyes settle on the drawing and Kara shivers as she recognizes so much of her own work in Kacey's image. Many of the drawings she's squirreled away are dark and depressing, full of monsters – full of the demons that still haunt her dreams.

"Kara, my mommy."

Startled slightly from her internal musings, Kara glances down to find Kacey's impossibly large eyes staring up at her. Wondering if she's misheard, Kara questions softly, "What, sweetie?"

Pulling back from her once more, Kacey rises on her knees, placing her hand over the center of Kara's chest, very close to her heart. "Kara. Mommy."

Her tears come now of their own volition and Kara is incapable of fighting them back. Shaking her head once, she whispers, "Oh, baby, I wish that were true. But I'm not your mommy."

"Yes." Kacey can be obstinate, something Kara and Lee have tried to curb to no avail. "Yes, Kara, mommy."

"Stop it." Kara knows she's perilously close to the edge and she's worried she'll pitch Kacey over it with her.

"No. Mommy!" Kacey is standing on the sofa now, her little hands balled into fists, her face flushed a shade of pink as she tries to convince Kara of the truth of her words.

"Stop saying that!" She's screaming and crying and now Kacey is screaming and crying too. Lee wakes to the cacophony, barely able to order his senses, before he finds his arms full of Kacey's weeping form.

"Lee, Lee! Mommy Kara mean!" she wails, her small arms stretching up and around Lee's neck.

As he holds her tight, his hand rubbing circles along her back, Lee glances up to find Kara sitting motionless on the sofa. Her momentary outburst is over and now she's staring straight ahead. If Lee couldn't see the small rise and fall of her chest, he'd be certain she's dead.

"Its okay, Kace. Kara's just really tired." Lee shushes her for a few more minutes, waiting until Kacey's stopped crying before trying to move.

Getting off the bed, he takes the girl over to her corner and asks, "What do you say you go and play with the Admiral today?"

Her eyes light up at the prospect and Lee's heart tears a bit as he remembers feeling a similar hope at her age at the idea of spending time with his dad. "Adma Bill?" she asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Lee can't help but return the smile. "Yes, Adma Bill. Can you go brush your teeth?" As she nods and hightails it for the sink, Lee stops her and hands her some clothes. "And get dressed too, okay?"

"'Kay, Lee!"

She disappears into the small head and Lee enjoys the quiet for a moment. With a sigh, he straightens, stretching his sore shoulders and feels the twinge of pain in his left one. Of course, Kara screaming with a knife in her hand – never a good combination.

He wishes he could find it funny. Heading for the hatch, he thumbs on the comm. and calls his father. "Adama."

"Hey dad."

"Lee? What's wrong?"

Glancing over his shoulder, he sees that Kara hasn't moved and he wonders how much she's even capable of hearing. "I'll tell you later. First, I have a favor to ask."

Ten minutes later, the Admiral is at the hatch, swinging Kacey up and into his arms and making silly noises that set the girl to giggling. "Are you sure you have time?" Lee asks again, realizing how ridiculous it is to ask the Admiral of a battlestar to baby sit.

"For my princess?" Bill asks, tickling Kacey and getting more laughter from her. "Absolutely."

As he settles the child on his hip, Bill glances over Lee's shoulder to Kara's motionless form. "What can I do?"

Dropping a kiss to Kacey's forehead, Lee smiles to his father. "You're doing it. I promise to take her off your hands sooner rather than later."

Squeezing Lee's shoulder firmly, his father's only response is a nod of encouragement. Lee watches them walk away, Kacey offering him a cheery wave over the Admiral's shoulder before they turn the corner and are out of sight.

Now Lee feels tired; exhausted actually. The sleep he got the night before was not restful and his body is angry at him. Plus his shoulder smarts and while Lee has survived plenty worse, he knows he should clean it. But there are more important things.

Well, one thing more important, and she's the love of his life.

Turning slowly, Lee closes the hatch and leans against it. Arms crossed over his chest, he studies Kara's profile in silence, waiting for her to acknowledge him. The previous night's events have been running on a closed-circuit loop in his head ever since he regained consciousness and Lee cannot shake the images from his mind. It's the fear he remembers the most; the fear in Kara's eyes and the anger.

"You shouldn't make excuses for me."

Her voice is hollow and broken and Lee wonders how much it's mirroring its owner. Pushing off from the door, he slowly makes his way towards her. "I didn't," he tells her, sinking onto the arm, his feet resting on the cushions.

Sighing heavily, Kara's eyes drop to her lap. "Yes, you did. I didn't yell at Kacey because I'm tired."

Clasping his hands before him, Lee continues to watch her. "Then why did you?"

Shrugging, Kara has never looked more defeated and Lee has never felt more helpless.

"Because I'm losing my mind." The admission is more than he expected and Lee studies Kara as the words register. Her body goes limp as she sags back into the cushions, eyes closing against the world. "I can't be Kacey's mother because I'm not fit to raise a child."

"Kara." Lee slides down off the arm of the couch and onto the sofa. "There is no one better suited to be that girl's mother than you."

This comment at least gets a small snort from her. "You need sleep, Adama. You're delusional."

He refuses to let her make a joke. "I mean it." Taking a chance, Lee reaches out to her, grasping one of Kara's hands in his. He's startled by how cold she is. "Kacey loves you."

"She loved Leoben too and he was frakking toaster, so maybe a two-year-old isn't the best judge of character." The words are harsh and biting and Lee can see the toll it took for her to even say them.

"Kara, you cannot honestly be comparing yourself to Leoben."

Sighing heavily, Kara closes her eyes again, rubbing her hands hard against the lids. "We both coveted that little girl," she explains, her voice a whisper. "We both thought we had rights to her when the truth is, we didn't."

Edging forward, Lee wishes Leoben were still alive so he could kill him, painfully and repeatedly. "Kara, he lied to you about Kacey. You thought she was yours. It was a pretty logical conclusion given … well, everything." He hesitates mentioning The Farm, knowing it's a topic that's set her off in the past.

She catches him on it. "It's not your ovary they stole," she tells him bitterly. "And it wasn't logical, Lee."

She finally turns to look at him and the deadness in her gaze makes his heart hurt. "It may have been a lot of things, but it was never logical."

They keep the silence for a few minutes and Lee isn't sure what to say. He doesn't know how to help her with this and he's painfully aware of his shortcomings. He's already told Kara he loves her, already refused to leave her side when she's made it obvious he's not wanted, already begun to build a life with her and Kacey. But it's not enough or maybe it's not what she needs. But try as he might Lee cannot determine what else to do.

"That's why I killed him every chance I could." Kara's words pull Lee back to the present and he moves closer. He wonders if he's heard her correctly and so he settles in and tries to understand. "I killed him ten times. I thought maybe he'd be like a cat, ya know?" She's trying to make a joke, but her tone is mirthless. "But frakker just came right back for number ten."

Swallowing hard, Lee's brain is still wrapping itself around this revelation. "Kara? What-"

"The neck was the easiest place to get him, the most exposed." As she speaks, Kara's trembling hand graces across her own neck and Lee is mesmerized by the story and the motion. "I got him there three times at least. I broke his neck once too, pushed him down the stairs. Three other times it was a gut wound." Her hand ghosts over her stomach. "Can't remember the other ones."

"Oh Kara." Lee's voice is choked with emotion, tears he's refusing to cry so he can be strong for her. In contrast, Kara's lack of feeling frightens him. "I didn't know."

She shrugs. "I didn't want you too."

More silence and this time it's a cop out. Lee doesn't know what to say in light of this information. He wants to hold her, keep her safe, but he knows that's a childish fantasy, reinforced by ridiculous fairy tales that Kara Thrace has never believed in.

But Lee believes. He likes being the hero, the prince, the knight in shining armor. Only this time, he didn't get to vanquish the villain. He wasn't there to keep Kara safe, so maybe this is his punishment – not getting the damsel when he did nothing to aid her distress.

Shaking the thoughts away, Lee focuses back on Kara. She's staring at the ceiling lost in thoughts he's afraid are too dark for him. He wants to pull her back. "Kara, talk to me. Please."

If he didn't know how serious the conversation is, he'd think the smirk on Kara's face is genuine. "You don't want to hear what I've got to say."

Lee hates that she's right. He doesn't want to hear anymore, but this stopped being about him quite a while ago.

"Did Kacey ever-" His breath catches on the words and he has to start again. "Did Kacey ever see you? Kill Leoben?"

In a second her eyes grow hard. Sitting up straight, Kara's body is rigid with tension. "I did everything I could."

Hazel eyes shining with desperation, she turns to regard Lee. "She never –" Head in her hands, Kara murmurs, "Oh Gods."

That last time what Kacey may or may not have seen is up for debate and Kara doesn't like to think on it. Unable to sit still as the images of that day and her nightmare from the night before play unbidden through her mind, she rises on shaky legs, stumbling for a second.

"I would never let Kacey see that." Her tone is a mixture of disbelief and sorrow and Lee hates it.

Rising, he tries to take her by the shoulders, tries to offer her something, but she shoves him back easily, hitting at his left shoulder particularly hard and causing him to wince.

Frowning, Kara bites out, "When did you become such a wuss?"

Shaking his head once, Lee backs away from her, refusing to turn around and give her full view of the wound she'd inflicted the night before. He knows she doesn't remember doing it and he's afraid of what will happen when she does. "It's nothing."

Kara's head cocks to the side as she watches him, noting the way he avoids her gaze at all costs. Where as seconds before he couldn't look at her intently enough, now the floor has suddenly become interesting and the red blush to his cheeks reinforces that he's hiding something.

Working his shoulder around gingerly, Lee feels the pull of a barely healed scar and guesses it's started bleeding again. _Great_.

As he grimaces again, Kara's brain puts it together. More images of her rantings from the previous night. Glancing quickly to the bed, she spots the glint of silver from the decking and rushes towards it. Lifting the knife gingerly, her breath catches in her throat as she makes out dried blood caked on the blade.

Trapping her lower lip between her teeth in an effort to keep it from trembling, Kara drops the knife back to the floor with a loud clatter before burying her face in her hands. She feels her shoulders shake before she even knows she's crying.

Everything she touches, she destroys. Kara has known this to be true for quite some time. Her mother had first introduced her to the concept, pointing out with glee any and all of Kara's shortcomings at every turn. Then there'd been Zak and the colonies ending and Sam and Kacey and now, apparently, Lee. She hurt him and it's never been plainer how much she doesn't deserve him.

Lee watches her cry for a minute and then moves fast. Before she can protest his arms have wrapped around her from behind, holding her firmly against his chest. She fights him, trying to pull away, but his will is stronger. He will not let her go again.

"I hurt you," she whispers, her voice shaky as it comes between sobs.

Pressing his forehead against her shoulder, he murmurs, "I've hurt you before, but you still love me."

She tenses at his words, but Lee knows it's the truth. Kara can be strong and heroic all she wants, but he knows she's loves him. There's no other reason that she'd let him stay and help with Kacey or even hold her now. No other reason that she'd confide in him about her time on New Caprica. No other reason they can hurt each other so thoroughly and yet still come back for more.

"Lee, please." He's never heard her beg before, not really.

Turning, he brushes his lips against her neck, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath before he can get the words out. "Kara, I want you to listen to me. I love you. I've loved you for a pretty long time now and nothing that's happened before or will happen in the future is going to change that. I am staying, that's something you can count on."

He feels her body sag just a bit against him, but her mind won't let her give in. "I'll just hurt you, Lee. I can't-" She inhales a shaky breath. "I'm not strong enough to survive us imploding again."

Lee risks loosening his grip, allowing enough room to turn Kara towards him. When he's staring at her face, her hazel eyes full of unshed tears, Lee swallows hard and lays all of his cards on the table. "Kara, I know I've messed up in the past. We both have." Her eyes drop to the floor in shame, but Lee keeps going. "But I trust you."

A few tears fall at this admission, but Kara still can't face him. Reaching for one of her hands, Lee presses it over his heart and tells her again, "I trust you, Kara Thrace. Do you hear me? I trust you with my heart and with my life."

Placing his other hand over her heart, Lee tips his forehead against hers and whispers, "I love you."

A sob escapes and they stay frozen in the awkward stance for a few moments. Kara has no idea how or why, but it's obvious that Lee loves her completely. She doesn't know what she did to deserve him. She hopes she never finds out. She just wants to enjoy the fact that they've finally found their way to one another.

With a trembling hand, Kara raises her other to clasp around Lee's as it rests against her heart. Holding it firmly in place, she feels more tears slide down her cheeks as she whispers, "I trust you, Lee Adama. And Gods help us both, but I love you."

There is nothing else to say after that. Lee feels relief, but he also knows the real work has only just started. Admitting their feelings, while difficult, has never been the problem between them. It's everything that follows.

Refusing to dwell on that now, Lee leans forward instead and presses his lips to hers, tenderly, tentatively. He doesn't want to scare her away, but he has to confirm this – them.

Kara's body tenses as she feels his mouth against hers, but her reluctance is over in a minute. Instead of pulling away, she presses herself against him, moving her arms around his neck so there isn't an inch of space between them.

Lee holds her back just as tightly, arms around her waist, mouth opening to Kara's as she teases his lips with her tongue. It's been a while since Lee's felt his blood sing, felt his body respond this way, but he's not surprised. Kara has always been able to do this to him.

The kiss feels endless and too short. Forced to part for air, Kara presses her cheek against Lee's, refusing to separate from him. She needn't have worried; its obvious Lee isn't letting go.

"I'm scared." The words are whispered, a small puff of breath against his ear and he shivers slightly at the sensation. "I don't know if I can do this, Lee."

Moving his hands to cradle her face, Lee pulls back slightly and watches as more tears fall unbidden from Kara's eyes. "I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know-"

She can't continue, but Lee doesn't need her too. He knows her far too well. "Kara." His tone forces her eyes back to his and she finds her breathing easing as she meets his blue eyes. "You can do this. You can do anything, I've known that for a while now." The statement causes the side of her mouth to turn up just a tad and Lee takes it as a victory. "And if you need me, I'm here."

This time it's a real smile that lights her face. "What do you mean 'if'?" she teases before falling against him.

Laughing lightly, Lee runs his hand through her hair, smoothing it down her back before repeating the motion. "I know you can do this, Kara. But you have to believe it too."

Sighing so hard her entire body shudders, Kara is quiet for several moments, simply reveling in Lee's touch. "Keep reminding me?" she questions softly, burrowing further into his warmth.

"Always."

In the quiet that follows, Kara becomes aware that Lee's shoulder is bleeding. Doing her best to hold him tight, she's glanced her hand against the wound and can feel a thin layer of blood coating her fingers. Reluctant to pull away, she does so begrudgingly, getting a startled look from Lee.

"Sit." She points towards the couch, heading for the bathroom.

Lee grabs her wrist, the question still in his eyes. Showing him her blood-stained fingertips, Kara explains. "I can't have you bleeding all over me."

Blushing, Lee sits as she ordered, turning his back to her as she settles behind him on the couch.

She dabs at the wound, apologizing softly as the antiseptic stings it. "Kara, you really don't have to do this."

Smiling slightly, Kara can't let the moment pass. "I thought you trusted me, Adama?"

He turns sharply, glancing to her with a horrified expression until he sees the grin on her features. "You are impossible," he murmurs, stealing a quick kiss before turning front once more.

"But it's okay." She likes this banter they have; in truth, she's missed it. "Because you love me."

Sighing heavily, Lee drops his chin to his chest. "Kara."

"No, it's sweet really." She affixes the bandage over the wound and drops a kiss right above it. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she wraps her arms around his waist. "You love me. Lee Adama loves me."

"And don't you forget it."

---- ----

Kara actually feels human when she steps out of the shower. Running the towel through her short locks once more, she tosses it in a corner and reaches for her tanks and sweats.

Lee isn't here and she's glad to have the place to herself. It had seemed surreal those first few moments after she'd confessed and she needs the space. Of course, she'd had to shove Lee out the hatch with her foot firmly planted in his hindquarters. But, however reluctantly, he'd left.

Sighing, Kara shrugs her clothes on and sinks onto the sofa. Kacey's drawing finds its way into her line of sight. Reaching for it, Kara studies it closely. What she'd noticed earlier is still there – the darkness, the gray-colored sky. But, Kara hadn't seen all of it and her eyes mist as she takes note of the rest of the image. A triangle-shaped Viper sits in one corner, a blonde-haired person sitting in its open cockpit while a brown-haired, blue-eyed person stands at the bow, holding the hand of a smaller, blonde-haired child.

With a trembling hand, Kara outlines the image. Kacey had told her she was drawing her home and she'd drawn the Galactica. It had been Kara's dark thoughts which had led her to the wrong conclusion.

Kara wants to cry and yell for joy all at once. It's as if everything in her life has finally fallen into place. As if she's no longer looking at the world through a veil. Its all clear now and Kara hasn't felt this alive in months, maybe even years. Reaching the nearest phone, Kara tries to slow her racing heart as she waits for someone on deck to pick up.

"_Tyrol."_

"Hey Chief, it's Starbuck."

"_What can I do for you, sir?"_

"Where's Apollo?"

"_Pilot's briefing. Do you want me to get him?"_

Kara does, but she stifles the impulse. "No, Chief, it's okay. Just, ah, give him a message for me?"

---- ----

"Adma Bill?"

Bill glances up from his supply run schedules to find two big eyes meeting his over the edge of his large desk.

"Yes, sweetheart?" he asks, motioning Kacey to him.

As she rounds the desk, he notices she has a drawing in her hand. He knows she isn't really Kara's, but her fluency with art causes him pause. Kara had always managed to keep her artistic yen from him. It wasn't until after Zak's death, when he had visited her once in New Delphi that he'd become privy to Kara's talent.

A talent Kacey seems to have absorbed through pure osmosis.

As she climbs into his lap, Bill cranes his neck to meet her curious gaze. "What is it, princess?"

"Is this family?" she asks as she lifts the drawing before his face. Startled by the question, Bill focuses on the picture.

The child-like drawing with lopsided-circle-headed stick people and a jagged line meant to denote the ground confronts him.

"Well." Bill isn't sure how to answer. "Let's see. Why don't you tell me who they are?"

Settling more securely against him, Kacey narrates. "This is me an' this is you." Bill drops a soft kiss in her hair as she continues. "An' this is Lee …" There's only one person left and Bill knows who it is. "An' this is mommy."

"Your mommy isn't here anymore, Kace."

Sighing, Kacey turns her head and fixes Bill with a look of such exasperation he swears she's channeling Kara.

"No, Mommy Kara."

"Do you want Kara to be your mommy?"

With a shrug of her small shoulders, Kacey answers. "Love Kara."

"I know you do." Bill lets a few moments of quiet settle on them.

"Kara no want me."

She sounds so dejected that he has no idea how to respond except to hug her. He knows that whatever happened that morning still haunts her. "That's not true, Kace. I know Kara loves you."

Almost on cue, a knock sounds on the hatch, startling them both.

"Enter."

When Kara emerges through the door, Bill feels Kacey's body tense.

"Hey, munchkin." She's smiling and her eyes are bright and Bill can't believe how alive she looks. Lifting her hazel eyes to him, her smile deepens. "Admiral."

"Kara. How are you?"

"Much better, sir. Thank you." Her eyes go back to Kacey.

"Lee?"

Trying not to feel hurt, Kara answers, "He's working, sweetie. He'll be here in a bit."

"Said he get me." Kacey is petulant, sinking into the Admiral's arms easily.

"He'll be here." Kara watches as Kacey's eyes bore into hers. "Are you having fun with the Admiral?"

Kacey nods reluctantly, clutching the picture she was showing Bill tightly in her hand. "What have you been doing?" Kara is sitting now across from them, doing her best to keep her voice even. The last thing she wants to do is scare Kacey further.

"Drawin'." Her voice is small and she drops her eyes to the floor as she answers.

Kara can't help smiling. Some of her fondest memories both on New Caprica and in the past few months involve Kacey, paper and colored pencils.

"Why don't you show Kara your latest drawing, Kacey?" Bill prompts her and Kacey's eyes dart back to his weathered face. As if making a decision, she holds his gaze for a handful of beats and then looks back to Kara.

Still studying her intently, she easily slides off the Admiral's lap, her feet hitting the deck. She stays still for a moment, eyes never leaving Kara and then rounds the desk, standing in front of Kara's seated form.

Offering her what she hopes is a warm smile, Kara asks, "So, what'd you draw?"

"My family." It's not a question as it was before and Bill smiles watching their interaction.

"Can I see?" Kara's voice catches on the last word, but she smiles wider and powers through it as Kacey offers her the now wrinkled piece of paper.

Holding the image gingerly, as if afraid her very touch might ruin it, Kara looks at, swallowing down a swell of emotion as she recognizes the drawing. The people in the one Kacey had drawn just that morning are present once again, with the addition of another dark-haired person. Kara recognizes the triangle shape of a Viper and the trapezoid shape of a raptor. She recognizes the slant of the hangar bay doors and the bright orange jumpsuits of the Chief and Cally.

But most importantly she recognizes the two dark-haired and two blonde-haired people standing in the forefront. One of them is Kacey.

Pointing to the quartet, Kara looks back to Kacey and smiles again. "This is your family?"

Nodding, Kacey points to each person. "Me, Adma Bill, Lee an' Kara."

Tears glistening in her eyes Kara has no words. She has never felt such love for another human being before. Even what she felt for Zak and what she feels for Lee pale in comparison to the love she has for Kacey. It's as if the child can double the size of her heart with just a word or a smile. It's precious and Kara hasn't had too many precious moments in her life.

One stray tear manages to break loose and Kara wipes at it quickly, but not fast enough to avoid Kacey's intense scrutiny. Face falling, she asks, "Kara sad?"

"No baby." Kara swallows several times before she feels it's safe to talk. Placing the drawing on her lap, she reaches for Kacey's hands and squeezes them gently. "I am very happy."

Kacey's face lights up, her smile big and bright and one that Kara easily returns. Bill watches as the girl tugs at Kara's hands, bringing her to her stack of paper and colored pencils. As Kara sits beside Kacey and begins to draw, Bill can only watch them, feeling as though he's just witnessed something incredibly profound.

---- ----

Lee hurries around the last corner heading for his father's office. He hadn't meant to get so waylaid but it seems a CAG's work is never done.

Still, Kara had left word with Tyrol that she needed him to meet her and Kacey at his father's quarters. Lee feared why.

Stopping a few feet short of the door, he is confronted with his father's unreadable countenance. Approaching, he questions, "Dad?"

"Lee." Stepping away from the wall, Bill Adama turns towards Lee, clapping a hand to his shoulder and steering him back the way he's come. "I'm glad you're here."

"Kara said she needed me. Is she all right? Is Kacey?" Lee doesn't exactly know when he became worrywart, but he's fairly certain it was sometime after the worlds ended and before the second time Kara disappeared.

"They're both fine. They're actually – napping – in my quarters." There's no missing the small hint of a grin on the Admiral's face and it's an expression Lee returns.

The image can only make him smile. "So, everything's okay?"

"From where I stand." Stopping, Bill pivots towards his son and holds his gaze for a moment. "What about you?"

Releasing a sigh, Lee's smile fades as the memory of that morning comes back. He thinks about what Kara told him, about her nightmare, about all she's survived before and after Leoben and how much Kacey has healed them both.

He can only draw one conclusion. "We're going to be fine."

He sounds confident and Bill long ago fell out of the habit of disagreeing with his son. Nodding once, he tells him, "That's good enough for me." Studying Lee for a moment more, he steps aside and says, "Now, why don't you take your girls home?"

Slightly startled by the statement, Lee does a double take, before allowing another famous Apollo grin to cover his features. _His girls_ – he could get used to that.

---- ----

Kara watches Kacey sleep, one hand gently running through the girl's curls. Years ago, Kara never would have imagined she would want a child of her own, let alone adopt one. After everything her mother had put her through, Kara's only opinion on children for most of her life had been negative.

But Kacey, of course, had changed all that. It's the one thing she can be thankful to Leoben for in some sick, demented way. She's not happy about that turn of events, but Kara doesn't dwell too much on how Kacey came to be in her life. Only that she is.

The sound of the hatch opening draws her attention from the angel before her. Turning to glance behind her, she meets Lee's smile as he steps into his father's quarters. Kara returns the grin and rises, meeting him as he closes the hatch.

Without a word between them, they embrace one another and Kara can't believe she's waited so long to have this – to have Lee. All of their arguments and disagreements and hurtful words seem ridiculous now.

"My father said you were sleeping." Lee's words are muffled, his face buried in her hair.

Not relinquishing her hold, Kara explains, "I heard him leave and couldn't get back to sleep."

Pulling away, concern has replaced Lee's smile. "Are you all right?"

Nodding, Kara leans forward and kisses him as answer. She's hesitant at first, her lips barely brushing against his; Lee's response is anything but. Holding her closer, his arms are wrapped firmly about her back, drawing her mouth to his. Kara grips his shoulders tightly, sighing against him as his tongue gently traces her lower lip. With a soft moan she opens her mouth to him and feels the familiar stirrings of passion in her gut. Gods how she loves this man.

"Kara." Her name is a sigh on his lips and Kara feels a deep need to pull him closer. She wants to make him moan her name again, but it's not the time and they both know it. Needing to breathe, they part simultaneously, foreheads resting together as they fight to get their breathing under control. With his thumbs rubbing small circles against her lower back, Lee whispers, "I love you."

"I love you." She responds easily, without hesitation. Now that she's admitted to the torture of her captivity, now that she's mended things with Kacey, she feels lighter than she has in months. And it's that lightness of spirit that allows Kara to know that happiness is not something to be feared – it's something to be celebrated.

"It's really nice to hear you say that," Lee admits with a soft chuckle.

"Then I'll keep saying it." Kara teases him easily, her teeth playfully nipping at his jaw. "I love you, Lee Adama."

He laughs again and then hisses sharply as her teeth close over his earlobe. "Love you."

He moves to kiss her again, unable to control himself in the midst of her teasing when Gaeta's familiar voice cuts through the room. "Pass the word, Captain Thrace call the flight deck. Captain Thrace call the flight deck."

Groaning, Kara drops her forehead to his shoulder and sighs. "Have I ever mentioned how much I hate ship-wide comms?"

Laughing, Lee presses a kiss to her temple before reluctantly letting her go. "I'll keep it in mind."

Glancing over her shoulder to Kacey, Kara looks back to him. "Watch her? I'll take it outside. I don't want to wake her."

He nods and she leaves after one more kiss. Lee watches her go and then turns back to Kacey. He sits beside her, covering one of her small hands with his. Noticing the scattered drawings on the floor, Lee picks them up, trying to make sense of the images. For a two-and-a-half year old, she's really very talented, but Lee often relies on Kara's artistic interpretation for guidance.

Lee's pretty sure he's just made out the shape of a pyramid court when Kacey trembles at his side, a small moan escaping her lips. Dropping the picture back to the ground, he turns his attention to her as she moans again, this time crying out, "Mommy!"

Reaching for her shoulder, Lee shakes her gently. "Kacey, sweetheart, wake up. You're dreaming."

She turns away from him sharply, rolling back against the couch and still crying out for her mother. "Mommy! I need you!"

"Kacey!"

She wakes when Lee yells her name, eyes wide with fear, cheeks flushed with disorientation. Opening his arms, Lee waits for her to crawl into them as she normally does and is completely stunned when she scoots away from him. Curling herself into a ball at the other end of the sofa, she continues to cry silently.

"Kacey?" He tries to get closer, but she whimpers and so he stays where he is. "You're okay, Kacey. It was just a nightmare."

"Mommy?"

"She's not here, Kace." Lee hates having to repeat this to her over and over again. It has to be a new form of cruelty. "She died in the fire, remember?"

Kacey's only answer is to stare at him, more tears pooling her eyes and falling down her face. "Need mommy."

"I know, sweetheart." Lee reaches for her again, but she refuses to come to him. Helplessness welling in his gut, he begins to feel desperate when the hatch opens behind him and Kara reenters the room.

"Sometimes I wonder if the Chief didn't forget everything once he was-"

"Mommy!"

Kacey's cry interrupts Kara's tirade and she pauses in the hatch, watching as Kacey barrels off the sofa towards her. She's barely able to drop to her knees in time to get her arms around the child who falls sobbing against her chest. "Mommy, mommy, mommy," she keeps whimpering, large shudders wracking her body.

"It's okay, baby. You're okay." Kara soothes her as best she can, gently rubbing circles along her back. Meeting Lee's concerned gaze over the girl's head, Kara questions him silently and he shrugs.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Kara rises slowly, finding it a little difficult with her arms full, but she manages to get them both back to the sofa and sitting, Kacey in her lap.

Nodding, the girl's hold around her neck does not loosen as she answers. "You left. Kacey sad."

Realization dawns as Kacey speaks and Lee feels the smallest smile tug the corners of his mouth. Kacey hadn't been calling for her mother, she'd been calling for Kara. Apparently they had managed to repair their relationship.

"Well, it was just a dream." Kara reassures her, smiling as Kacey leans back far enough to meet her eyes.

"Promise?"

Smiling again, Kara kisses her forehead and hugs her tight. "Yes. I promise."

---- ----


End file.
